Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
