I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also, beer. Big fan.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize