I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
