Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
