I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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