Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
