The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
