Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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