Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
