Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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