I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
