i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
