let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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