isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
