Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize