She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So much rum. So many feels.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
