just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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