just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
