Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
