The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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