Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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