I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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