hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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