It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
