I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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