I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
lets start a swedish sibling band together
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize