Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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