I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.