He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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