haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
