dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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