Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
