Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
