There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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