Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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