yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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