I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
