we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
