hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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