every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
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Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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