What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
