Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
