Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
