I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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