just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
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I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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