The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
