I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
No I am not eating basil off your cock
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
