the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
