We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize