is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
