Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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