when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
