I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
