haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize