i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
