omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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