Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
