Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize