I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
