He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
