No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
