Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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