My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
