ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
