I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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