Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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