I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
