You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
barbara walters just said penis...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
