Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
